141932

Joke of the Day

"I don't understand it, my new book How to Overcome Your Addiction to Shoplifting' is sold out everywhere, yet I've not made a penny."

"A lot of the parents at my kids' school don't really seem into sharing a laugh about the inescapability of death."

"UVA did something King James couldn't do.... Brought a championship to the Cavaliers!"

"I Asked My Black Friend If He Wanted to Go on a Cruise with me. He said that his ancestors made that same mistake and that he's not falling for it."

"What did the jewish pedophile say to the child? ""Wanna buy some candy?"""

"a:1:{s:7:""retweet"";i:2;}"

"Me *writing*: she was like 12 slices of key lime pie in a dress- tart, cool, totally whipped. Her: I can hear you. Me: she could hear me"

"How does the Mexican national anthem start? Jose can you see....."

"Why did the blond snort NutraSweet? She thought it was diet coke."

"HOT LOCAL SINGLES WANT TO MEET YOU SO THEIR FELONIOUS BOYFRIENDS CAN STEAL YOUR I-PHONE"