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Joke of the Day

"interviewer: why do you want this job me: i've just always been very passionate about not starving to death"

"Love yourself, just don't do it in public. There are laws against that type of behavior."

"Wanna hear a joke about ebola? You won't get it."

"Making midget jokes is mean and belittling. *belittling*"

"I've come to the realisation that tofu is over rated- It's just a curd to me."

"Why won't people let Hitler go to the Bar-BQ? He'll just burn the Frank's!"

"After I undress you with my eyes I redress you with my eyes because it's still January so it's super cold out and I have considerate eyes."

"Why doesnt Justin Bieber shop at Modells? He loves Dicks"

"How do you confuse an ugly person With an orange."

"What do you do when your girlfriend starts smoking? Use a lubricant"