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Joke of the Day

"Vikings kicker Blair Walsh apparently attempted suicide last night. He ended up being just fine, he was unable to kick the chair out from under him."

"Fero's Law states that if your hands can be wet before you're introduced to someone, they will be."

"What came first, the chicken or the egg? The rooster ( )"

"What do you call a woman who fell off a cliff? Eileen Dover..."

"Why is it so hard to pull over on the Pirate Highway? Because there's a parrot on the shoulder."

"*accidentally summons malevolent demon at a seance* I WILL HAUNT YOUR HOME FOREVER! [4 days later] YOU KNOW, YOU COULD CLEAN UP OCCASIONALLY"

"If our feet had mouths then they'd be walkie talkies."

"Interesting how u totally lose track of ur age after 21. Nothing to look forward to until 31, when u can legally own a donkey in a bathtub."

"Ever been so completely out of toilet paper that you send your kid next door to get some? Me neither, I just like to embarrass my kid."

"Apparently, ""No kidding!"" isn't a good response when your boss says he's confused."