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Joke of the Day
"Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic and so am I. -Oscar Levant."
Next Joke
"Me: You bought 6 bottles of carpet cleaning solution? Wife: Yes. Me: We have hard wood floors. Wife: I had a coupon that was expiring today!"
"Which came first? Chicken or the egg? I CAME FIRST! edit: CAME = CUM"
"God is pretty creative. I mean, look at me."
"Did you know they are making an action movie about the great composers? Arnold Schwarzeneggar says he'll be Bach."
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Benin ! Benin who ? Benin hell!"
"What's the difference between a Chickpea and a Garbonzo bean? I wouldn't let a Garbonzo bean all over my face."
"What's the difference between OP and Fed-Ex?"
"Me: I crave your sweetness on my lips Her: Who are you talking to in there? M: *stumbles out of pantry with Nutella all over my face* nobody"
"How do you know if someone doesn't like Football and isn't going to watch the Super Bowl? They'll tell you"