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Joke of the Day

"How do you know if someone doesn't like Football and isn't going to watch the Super Bowl? They'll tell you"

"Why did the cat stop singing? Because it was out of tuna."

"[my cell phone rings] ME (a person who pays a monthly fee to allow this): Ugh why is this happening"

"Ben and Kyle are talking. Kyle says to Ben I had a one night stand. To which Ben replied what do you have now?"

"A man goes into a library and asks for a book on euthanasia. The librarian says, ""I'll do my best to assist you""."

"""dad mom wont tell me where babies come from"" *dad slams newspaper down* DAMN THAT WOMAN & HER SECRETS *clenches fists* WHY WONT SHE TELL US"

"What kind of fruit is also a vegetable? Elton John in a coma."

"(Xpost Antijokes) Check yourself before you wreck yourself... ...with dick cancer. Happy Movember. http://us.movember.com/mens-health/"

"If you can't handle me at my worst then I should probably pull myself together and be considerate of others."

"I only hug people when I need to wipe my hands off."