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Joke of the Day

"Powdered sugar, the cocaine of popos!"

"3yo: make me oatmeal me: *poof* you're oatmeal 3yo: me: *makes oatmeal"

"What did the blue denims say to the black denims? I guess we have different genes!"

"Rock, paper, scissors? -The proctologist removing items from me"

"What's the difference between a virgin and a lightbulb? You can un-screw a lightbulb."

"If all the animals on the equator were capable of flattering Then halloween and thanksgiving would fall on the same day"

"I'm going to to start a horse peeing race, The award will be called the trickle crown."

"I swallowed some food coloring earlier. I think I dyed a little inside."

"I'm feeling confident about my new business selling amphibious aircraft... It's going to be plane sailing!"

"You think you have your anger issues under control until someone starts telling an important story while they're chewing"