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Joke of the Day

"You think you have your anger issues under control until someone starts telling an important story while they're chewing"

"How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only two. One person holds the bulb and the other blonde twirls the other blonde around."

"Have you seen www.apathy.com? No and quite honestly I can't be bothered."

"What's a neckbeard's favorite spread? Marm'lady"

"smoking I use to smoke, I'll probably never say that I quit but I do stop for intermittent periods. I, like most people, call this lapse in my habit a ""relationship""."

""" I gotta see this guys best tweet, I'll gift him Favstar Pro"". Said no one ever."

"I was asked how I view lesbian relationships. Apparently in HD wasn't the right answer."

"Next update: Twitter will tell you what the retweeter is feeling as they retweet your retweet. And what they had for breakfast."

"What does a cannibalistic homosexual sailor eat? Semen."

"""What are you doing, dad?"" ""Filing taxes... LOLJK... I'm googling ""non-extraditable countries"". Pack your bags, kid! We're going to Libya!"""