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Joke of the Day

"I'm working on a fitness routine for insects. It's going well, but I'm still trying to work out the bugs."

"jokes about depression used to be funny.... now they're just sad."

"Other people are gettin these amber alerts, right? Like, it's not up to me to find these kids?"

"Why doesn't Elin Nordegren ever shop at the fish market? Because Tiger is always bringing home crabs!"

"New Mexican word for today: Brief Today, my homie farted so hard, I could barely brief"

"Did you hear the one about the dude who married an exhibitionist? He saw his wife flash before his eyes."

"Therapist: It's been 8 years since the death of your parents. How are you coping? Bruce Wayne: I dress as a bat and beat up strangers now."

"my daughter hones her survival instincts by forgoing the provided bowl and spreading goldfish crackers all over the house to forage & store"

"So I got a little drunk last night. I was out on my porch yelling ""Get off of my lawn!"" at my wife's yard gnomes."

"It's sad when a woman has to get breast implants just to keep her husband interested... ...it's even worse when his are still bigger."