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Joke of the Day

"Studys show that 76.5% of statistics are made up."

"It was mealtime on an airplane... ...and the flight attendant asked a passenger if he would like some dinner. ""What are my choices?"" he asked. ""Yes or no,"" she replied."

"I remember the first time I ever masturbated... ... it was a seminal moment."

"Accidentally ran into my ex in town the other day and then purposely put the car in reverse and ran into her again"

"I think if we trained bears to fly planes people wouldn't worry about hijacking because they'd be too worried about bears."

"Did you hear about the riot at the bar mitzvah reception? There were mazel tov cocktails everywhere!"

"The Russian version of ""How I Met Your Mother"" is just a single episode showing a guy browsing a web page."

"That awkward moment when a person says they need their beauty sleep when what they really need is plastic surgery."

"This computer you charged me L950 for doesn't work....and you said it would be trouble free. It is I charged you L950 for the computer but you're getting all that trouble absolutely free!"

"I was in a band One of our roadies was a German man. There was a Czech one too. Czech 1-2, Czech 1-2"