191524

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the riot at the bar mitzvah reception? There were mazel tov cocktails everywhere!"

"I asked a meteorologist whether or not it would rain. He said, ""I don't know its up in the air""."

"What's the difference between a Chick Pea and Garbanzo Bean?? I've never had a Garbanzo Bean on my face..."

"Fight Club, but instead of blowing up all the financial institutions, they reset all twitter follower counts back to zero."

"To the people who have lost one shoe on the side of the road... Are you okay? How does that even happen?"

"[break room] coworker: what's for lunch? me: [eating] food, generally cw: no, I mean what are you having? me: an unwanted conversation"

"Why did the skeleton knew that it was going to rain? He read the weather forecast, Idiot (Wow didnt see that coming did you *wink*)"

"What's Tommen Baratheon's favorite band? Fall out boy"

"I'm 28 years old, but in marriage years, I'm already dead."

"My wife tried to apply at the post office but they wouldn't letter. They said only mails work here."