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Joke of the Day

"That awkward moment when a person says they need their beauty sleep when what they really need is plastic surgery."

"""If a Groundhog emerges from this hole wearing too much eye shadow, its grounded for 6 weeks for being a whore""--Groundhog dad"

"Yo mamma is so ugly when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, ""Sorry, no professionals."

"What did the policeman say to the jumper? Pullover"

"I own far too many ""....For Dummies"" books to have healthy self esteem."

"A couple is lying in bed. The husband says, ""I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.""The wife replies,... ...""I'll miss you."""

"Why are refugees bad at math? They refuse to integrate."

"Who called them ""homo erectus'"" and not... Wait, that's actually pretty funny. Good job guy who named them ""homo erectus'"""

"What happened to the wooden car with the wooden wheels and the wooden engine? It wooden go"

"Being an ice cream delivery guy must be a cool job."