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Joke of the Day

"I think if we trained bears to fly planes people wouldn't worry about hijacking because they'd be too worried about bears."

"If Microsoft built cars you would need to restart your car then it would perform illegal operations and crash."

"I have a girlfriend Not sure if this is really a joke, but everyone laughs when I say it."

"What's the difference between a dead hooker and a Ferrari? I didn't lose my virginity to a Ferrari."

"I thought more people would laugh at my candy joke... But all I heard was a few snickers."

"""Hey, what's that Febreeze that smells like Fireball?"" Yeah, non-alchoholics call that cinnamon."

"Not one person is cooler than the pigeon that just walked all the way into this Mexican restaurant, gently picked up a taco chip, and left."

"A guy is with a hot girl and gets a boner Girl: Is that a weapon in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? Guy: Both, it's a weapon of ass destruction."

"A man walks into a bar... OUCH!!!!"

"Sorry boss, I set my alarm for 7PM instead of 7AM and that's why I haven't been at work in six years."