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Joke of the Day

"I think if we trained bears to fly planes people wouldn't worry about hijacking because they'd be too worried about bears."

"Do you know what the one vegetable that isn't actually vegan is? Terry Schiavo."

"Sanders supporters are like... that kid in class that gets Fs and Ds the whole semester and then says ""If I get a 100 on the final I can still get a C"""

"The presidency should be EASY for Trump... after all, mini hands make light work."

"Don't tell a Klepto this... ...they take everything literally."

"What do you call a 100 year old frog ? An old croak !"

"My friends and i wanted to dressup as the Pokemon Trio today to play Pokemon Go... Unfortunately our friend Brock was too busy chasing tail, so it got cancelled."

"How does a baby Wookie get around? Ewoks"

"What did Mario say to Yoshi when he started climbing the Cherry tree? (X-post r/landscaping) Yoshino!!!"

"My kid threatened to hold his breath until i gave him dessert He's now passed out on the floor. I don't negotiate with terrorists."