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Joke of the Day

"Of course he's a ""jolly"" rancher. He's herding candy. I'd be fucking delightful if that were my job."

"Your baby was cute until I realized you're on the same flight as me. Now your baby is stupid."

"You know all those things that ""Have been shown to cause cancer in the state of California""? Seems they prove the state of California causes cancer."

"How can you tell if your sperm count is high? Your partner has to chew before they swallow."

"What do you call a place where they don't allow sleeveless shirts? A gun free zone"

"Did you hear about the woman banned from Disney World? She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face and screaming, ""Lie to me, Pinocchio! Lie to me!"""

"Barista asks a customer if they would like their coffee black Customer replies ""what other colors do you have?"""

"Mexicans and blacks are a lot alike. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal."

"I accidentally swallowed some food coloring the other day. The doctor said I was fine but I feel like I've dyed a little on the inside."

"Coffee With No Cream A guy walks into a coffee shop. Waitress: What can I get you? Guy: May I get a coffee with no cream? Waitress: Sorry, we just ran out of cream. How about a coffee with no milk?"