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Joke of the Day

"Your baby was cute until I realized you're on the same flight as me. Now your baby is stupid."

"What did Jesus' disciples say when he caught all those fishes? HOLY MACKAREL!"

"Why should you never watch a movie with a generous Nascar driver? He might give away spoilers!"

"How do you climb a triangle? By scalene it"

"Guns don't kill people. Dying kills people."

"If you say ""cray cray"" I'm going to punch you in the ""fay fay"","

"The White House is putting on a play adaptation of Modern Family. When asked which character he wanted to be, Obama said ""Uhhh...let me be Claire."""

"Why did the remorseful child-molester paint his toe-nails? He thought it would be a pedicure. ^^^sorry."

"What did the visually-challenged gentleman say as he walked past the tuna stand at the open air market on a hot summer's day? Hello ladies. Warm enough for you?"

"hi yeah I'm here about the junior executive position. my skills? well I'm SUPER GOOD at playing video games i found too difficult as a child"