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Joke of the Day

"I accidentally swallowed some food coloring the other day. The doctor said I was fine but I feel like I've dyed a little on the inside."

"I don't know whats more awkward, answering Dora, or sitting in silence while she stares at you."

"Why does Donald Trump secretly not want to win the election? Because if he wins, he'll have to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood."

"My dog's frightened to walk across shiny floors and won't eat dog food unless I heat it up. I have a feeling he'd be a flop out in nature."

"Surprise a beautiful person today by disagreeing with them."

"What supervillain do you know the least about? Loki , because he is low-key."

"How does Kylo Ren talk on the phone? A Hans free device"

"The English language is bizzare There was a young girl from Slough Who choked on a piece of raw dough But the time she was through With hiccup and cough She woke everyone in the borough"

"'Pizza Hut, can I take your order?' Me: 'May I speak with the owl, please?' 'Who?' Me: 'Hahaha, that never gets old! Large pepperoni.'"

"What do michael jackson and Mcdonald's have in common? they both put thirty year old meat in five year old buns"