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Joke of the Day

"He wants my carcasses apparently. I think autocorrect won that round."

"Statistics say there's a gay guy in every group of friends. I think it's Tim... he's got a great ass."

"What do Alan Turing and a well-mixed solution have in common? They're both homo-genius."

"My daughter can be so cruel... Her: Hey dad, what is the difference between broccoli and boogers? Me: I don't know, what? Her (pointing at me): YOU, don't eat your broccoli!"

"Argon walks into a bar The bartender looks up angrily, yelling at him, ""Get out! We don't take stuck up snobs like you!"" Argon doesn't react."

"The whole thing about ""we're all going to die some day,"" that's a joke, right?"

"Me: Would you have a minute to speak about my lord and savior, nachos supreme? Her: Sir, for the last time just tell me your order."

"What's the difference between a ruble and a dollar? One dollar"

"Why are you being weird about how we made eye contact and both smiled and then I took the form of an actual bat and chased you for 11 miles"

"Did you see the joke on Reddit about fixing the telephone pole? It was a repost"