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Joke of the Day

"PLEASE NOTE...The charity event tonight for men that can not ejaculate as been cancelled. . There's just not enough people coming"

"What did the dill pickle say to jennifer lopez? U WOt M8>?"

"Pigeons die after they have sex... Did you know pigeons die after they have sex? At least the one I fucked did."

"Once I saw a blind man touching a cheese grater at Ikea. He said: ""who wrote this bullshit"""

"I know a guy who collects candy canes... ...they are all in mint condition."

"The Donner Party Diet Breakfast: Jacks Lunch: Franks Dinner: Patties"

"I caught my nephew doing drugs with me last night."

"There was a shooting at the Apple store last night. There were no iWitnesses."

"I wrote a song about a tortilla. well actually, it's more of a wrap"

"4:*calls thing wrong name Me:*corrects him 4:*repeats wrong name Me:*corrects him 4:*maintains eye contact and repeats wrong name slowly"