161953

Joke of the Day

"Wife: Well, they say a mirror adds ten pounds. Me: That's a cam- Wife: ... Me: Yes. Yes they do."

"I can't see very well in the dark but on the bright side, I see just fine."

"Did you know people are getting paid to mention products in their Facebook statuses? That's as crazy as the discounts at Dave's Furniture Emporium..."

"What's a parrot's favourite song? I love Parrots in the Springtime!"

"Why did the flight from Warsaw to Moscow crash? There were Poles on the right half of the plane."

"I think i just wrote a joke out of my pathetic love life while fixing supper and here it goes. What does a bachelor eat the most? Balonely sandwiches."

"How did Helen Keller burn her face? She answered the waffle iron. How did she burn the other side? They called back."

"What martial art do cows practice? Moo-thai."

"What is the cow's holiday greeting? Mooooory Christmas!"

"Told this girl to text me when she got home.... I think she homeless. ----- I don't own this and I take no credit."