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Joke of the Day

"Dad: Son.. Get me that Doptid Son: What's a Doptid Dad : You are..."

"You should never lie through your teeth. Open your mouth and speak properly."

"Why is Santa so Jolly? Cause he knows where all the bad girls live."

"Ladies, don't waste your time picking up guys at Chuck E Cheese. Apparently they have a ""family"" & a ""wife"" & I'm ""ruining their dinner."""

"Did you hear about the constipated chancellor of the exchequer? He couldn't budge-it!"

"well, i guess this was bound to happen. i left the pot and the kettle on the stove overnight and the pot committed a hate crime."

"A man is put on trial for committing mass genocide against the people of Scotland. It looked like he would be in prison for life... ...but he got off Scot-free."

"What did onlookers say to the Wright Brothers as they took off? BYE PLANE"

"When I was molested at age 7 it was horrible. It must have been his first time or something."

"My gran once had a bad stroke, so i screamed ""its not fucking good enough"" and pushed her into the bunker"