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Joke of the Day

"[Calls an ex] Ex: Hello Me: Remember how you lied about everything Ex: Why are you doing this Me: It's Throwback Thursday"

"A good book is like a good puppy. Both are easy to pick up but hard to put down."

"How many Vietnam Vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? YOU DON'T KNOW MAN!!!! YOU WEREN'T THERE!!!"

"If you've seen me impatiently standing in line, then you've seen me dancing at a concert."

"Who did the breeder call when his horse was possessed by an evil spirit? An exhorsist!"

"Want to hear a great joke? Well then fuck you because I'm typing off a keyboard."

"Why is there cotton in pill bottles? To remind black people that they were cotton pickers before drug dealers."

"Why is Junkrat a feminist's favorite class in Overwatch? TRIGGERED"

"Ever heard of the movie Constipation? It hasn't come out yet."

"Knock knock ""who's there?"" interrupting cow with alzheimer's disease ""interrupting cow with alzheimer's disease who?"" knock knock ""who's there?"" moooooooooo ::silence::"