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Joke of the Day

"Ever heard of the movie Constipation? It hasn't come out yet."

"Boyf said I look really pretty when I'm concentrating...I realised its cos I'm quiet! Either way it's the last time I let him watch me poo"

"I like my women like I like my coffee... I don't fucking like coffee."

"Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Because I'm riding a Big Wheel on the freeway? Officer: A STOLEN BIG WHEEL"

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except bears, bears will kill you."

"I was gonna go to the gym today... ... But it didn't work out."

"What do you call Nicky Minaj's ass? Silicone valley"

"Saw a ""Don't Text and Drive"" sign on my way into work today. Good thing I took a second to look up from my phone, otherwise I may have missed it."

"What did the guy say when he found out that his wife's breast s had implants? ""THOSE ARE SILLY CONES"""

"Why was Yoda afraid of 7? Because 6, 7 8."