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Joke of the Day

"Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin and eat them, they will die."

"My class teacher once said ""Write and Practice."" Turns out she was right. I practiced on my desk just before I started my exam and it worked"

"Want to know what I know about dwarves? Very little. Heard from a friend. It's awful, I know."

"I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom. (I worked there my freshman year and had to unclog the toilets.)"

"Why did the fire fighter go in to save his friend first, and then fight the fire? Because... bros before hose!!! Wubbulubbadub-dub!"

"Which detective investigates electrical crimes? Sherlock Ohms That's why his partner is called Wattson..."

"Texting back and forth with a wrong number. I'm all ""Dude! Let's be BFF's!"". He/she is all ""Stop texting me"". CLASSIC him/her!"

"Dad Joke Dad: (Grabs his chest) Call me an ambulance Son: You are........ an ambulance Dad: Proud of you son."

"Me: My weight is up. I really hate winter. Him: Don't be discouraged. You'll bounce back in spring once you shave your legs."

"Is your refrigerator running? Better go catch it!"