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Joke of the Day

"Why did the fire fighter go in to save his friend first, and then fight the fire? Because... bros before hose!!! Wubbulubbadub-dub!"

"Arianna Huffington said Donald Trump is not getting enough sleep, so why isn't he getting enough sleep? Apparently not having enough **Melania**tonin at night!"

"Video games should be banned. My son just threw a turtle shell at a walking mushroom then disappeared down a green tube. Someone call 911."

"Your girlfriend is imaginary... Nope, she's real. She just hasn't arrived yet."

"I love a girl with a trimmed bush.... Only because its makes it easier to see her through the window at night."

"I've written a book called, 'How Not To Get Conned Out Of Your Money'. It's available in all good bookshops priced 149.99."

"I had to turn off my carbon monoxide detector... ...The constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick."

"My girlfriend says that I've got the body of a guy half my age. Which would be a nice compliment if I wasn't 22."

"""Always give your food a rinse before you eat it,"" my dad always used to say. Lovely man. Made terrible sandwiches."

"What do you do when attacked by a group if clowns? Go for the juggler."