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Joke of the Day

"Want to know what I know about dwarves? Very little. Heard from a friend. It's awful, I know."

"New evidence suggests that Turkey is now supporting ISIS ... they were pretty pissed off at America after Thanksgiving."

"Two Mafia hitmen are walking through the forest at night when one of them says ""I have to admit, it's pretty scary out here."" The other replies, ""You think this is bad? I have to walk back alone."""

"Why can't iron oxide get a date? Porque es FeO Little bilingual chemistry joke for you guys."

"this 'donkey kong' aspires to humanity through the gesture of the necktie. yet it is the hoarding of his wealth that truly makes him human"

"What's a pirates favourite letter? Ye think it be the R, but 'tis the C."

"Why did Dairy Queen get pregnant? ...Because Burger King didn't wrap his whopper"

"20 years ago we had Johnny Cash Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please dont let Kevin Bacon die!"

"[on intercom] Pilot: does anyone know how to land an airplane? asking for a friend, i swear"

"What's red and orange and looks good on hipsters? Fire."