121493

Joke of the Day

"Kim Kardashian's birthday is today AND she got engaged to Kanye West! It's almost like it was made for TV! Wait...."

"Confucius says... ""He who goes to bed with an itchy butt, wakes up with chicken fingers!"""

"What's the difference between jam and jelly? I can't jelly my dick up your ass."

"How do vampire football players get the mud off? They all get in the bat-tub."

"May: What position does your brother play in the school football team ? Jay: I think he's one of the drawbacks !"

"Why did god give women two sets of lips? So they can piss and moan at the same time."

"What do you call a new gym opening up in the finance district Capital Gains"

"My spirit animal is fried chicken"

"Twitter 1 Act: -Person misreads sarcasm -You point out it's sarcasm -""I know I was being sarcastic back"" -Sharpen pencil, jam it in own eye"

"I combined two hit games and made ""Angry Words With Friends"" where I just scream obsenities at people while throwing dead birds at them."