41623

Joke of the Day

"Last night I dreamt I was a muffler... It was exhausting."

"PISSED: teen gets fed up with teacher ""can i use the bathroom?"" ""i don't know, CAN you?"" *takes deep breath* *pisses all over teachers desk*"

"Is it just me or are they doing everything but having sex in Viagra commercials."

"Well-behaved is past tense for me."

"""Johnny Depp looks good in that outfit!"" ""That's Diane Keaton."""

"When I see someone laughing to themselves in public, I love to imagine what they're thinking about, even though deep down I know: it's memes"

"What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back 4 seconds"

"Last week i just robbed my first bank in my new Frog outfit. I Kermited a major offense"

"I never misused the word ironic, ironic right? it's a bit of a paradox. THINK!"

"I've finally stopped drinking for good. And I've started drinking for evil."