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Joke of the Day
"I've finally stopped drinking for good. And I've started drinking for evil."
Next Joke
"Your mother ."
"What did the detective say when he tripped over a pretzel left by the perp? Well, that was an unexpected twist!"
"What is a thing that Alan Rickman and David Bowie both have in common? It is that they have both recently become deceased."
"[first date] Me: so u just wanna poke ur straw thru that little hole Her: I know how juice boxes work Mom: well isn't she a feisty one?"
"You know what cats don't like? Blow dryers. You know what's funny? Pointing your blow dryer at your cat. Anyway, I lost an eye today."
"I have sensitive teeth..... And I'm afraid I'll say something to hurt their fillings."
"""I believe I can fry"" - R Kelly filling out McDonald's application"
"What can you hear but never see? Everything if you're Stevie Wonder"
"I thought of having a threesome But then I realized that if I wanted to disappoint two people at one time I might as well have dinner with my parents"