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Joke of the Day

"My GF was brutal when we moved. Told me anything not used in the past 6 months had to go... I just looked down and gave my condolences"

"you know who else had a ""fun hat phase""? Abe Lincoln. and we all know what happened to THAT guy"

"If someone says they're going to quit their job to become a stand-up comedian, ... Are you supposed to laugh?"

"What kind of haircut does the black judge have? Jury Curls"

"Did you hear about the Native American who drank 1000 glasses of tea? He drown in his tea pee."

"What do you call a beach where you go to shoot gorillas and break Islamic law? Haram Bay"

"I spent 20 minutes at the gym trying to untangle my headphones...I'm done..my arms are killing me!"

"Life is like a penis Its very short but when it gets hard it seems very long"

"My dog is coming home from surgery today and I hope he did ok. He can't afford another malpractice suit."

"I heard someone got shocked by their Ford... that must stang."