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Joke of the Day

"asians are amazing at reddit think about it, it's basically just dance dance revolution but with only two buttons"

"ME: Raising two kids on my own has been a real struggle. WIFE: I'm only gone for two days. ME: They call me momdad now, which is bittersweet"

"How many ISIS mercenaries does it take to change a light bulb? None stupid crusader, that's a job for the hostages!"

"If you ever say 'I seen' in a sentence. I will never sleep with you. Under any circumstances. Ever.* *including zombie apocalypse"

"""How about if the villain is a psychopath out to make a skin suit?"" - Not in a kids movie, dude. ""Ok, but it's puppy skin?"" - Oh, then YES!"

"I told my friend a joke about last night's Game of Thrones episode.. He agreed it was well done."

"Hey Dad? Can you sing me the Alphabet? Sure, ""abcdefghiJK."""

"What happens when a jew with a boner runs into a wall He breaks his nose"

"I finally got tinder And after a few matches, I was able to start a campfire."

"I'm gonna have a secret lair that consists of toilets and sinks. It'll be called ""John Sinclair's john and sink lair"""