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Joke of the Day

"How many dads does it take to change a light bulb? Asking because it's been a week and mine still hasn't."

"LOL What is Charlie Sheens middle name? Washingma Charlie Washingma Sheen"

"New drinking game: Every time Senator Bernie Sanders proposes something free, chug someone else's beer."

"Let them know how much you care. This holiday season, say it with a mass text."

"I met up with my internet friend yesterday. We were both disappointed when we realised we were both middle aged men, and not 10-year-old girls."

"I use the word ""thingy"" when I cant think of the word: Me- Are you picking up the ""thingy's?"" Wife- ...you mean your kids? Me- Dont judge me"

"I've never panned for gold... But I have put bacon bits in my salad."

"How are men like fuses? Once they're blown, they're useless."

"My girl friend wanted a nose job... So I tried. But her nostrils weren't big enough."

"Mrs. Piggy Q. Why does Mrs. Piggy douche with honey? A. Because Kermit the frog likes sweet and sour pork."