40735

Joke of the Day

"We all know how Bill cheated on Hillary with Monica Lewinsky. Well, did you hear that Hillary cheated on Bill with somebody named Ben Ghazi?"

"Did you hear about the corduroy pillows? They're making headlines!"

"Can you see? I hate it when people ask what I will be doing in 5 years time? Sorry I just don't have 2020 vision"

"You don't have to speak bird to know that when they chirp right outside your window they're asking for you to kill them."

"Why did the man go fishing? Just for the halibut."

"I was going to grease my mechanic's hand with a $20 bill for the phenomenal job he did but ... he already overcharged me by $200."

"Chemistry teacher: What is Nitrate? Girl: My place, 250...your place 400!"

"If Donald Trump replaces Obama.... ...Does that mean Orange is the new Black?"

"What's the opposite of a mango? Mancome"

"She said she liked it doggystyle, so I sniffed her butt then peed on the carpet"