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Joke of the Day

"Your Game of Thrones name is your biggest fear spelled backwards plus the profession your guidance counselor suggested. Mine is Snwolc Clown"

"*puts bread in toaster* hmm something strange about the toaster today Duck(from in toaster): no there isnt"

"A ""good parenting"" blog followed me. Should I let them know how long ago that ship sailed?"

"I recently entered a blindfolded masturbation competition... I haven't seen the results yet so I've no idea where I came..."

"How awesome would it be to come home & find Bruce Springsteen sitting on your toilet?"

"I cried when my dad cut onions... I miss onions. He was a good dog."

"{Goes to buy Virgin Airlines ticket} ""Can I buy one even if I've done sex?"" Um. Yes sir ""Cause I have"" Okay ""I've done all of it"" Please go"

"Before I had a kid I thought, god, I wish I could say ""please put your shoes on"" 17,000 times every morning. My dreams have come true."

"I found where my mom hid the scissors, so everyone in my house woke up with a new haircut this morning."

"Review of Black Holes: Zero Stars"