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Joke of the Day

"lower my casket into the ground and play ""The Lion Sleeps Tonight"" If you see someone not singing the Wimba Way part, kick them out."

"me: they're having a special, buy 3 dvds get 1 free wife: so why do you have 4 space jam's? me: ...because it's buy 3 get 1 free"

"Just had a 10 minute argument about the importance wearing pants in public with a 5yo She won, today I wear pants when I take her to school"

"Me: My flight was canceled so I won't be home until tomorrow. Her: but you said you were just going out for milk."

"My friend asked if I would stop singing Maroon 5 songs. I said: ""I don't think so."""

"You know what they say about people with big feet. They have big shoes"

"A slice of ham and a slice of cheese walk into a bar They ask the bartender for 2 beers. ""Sorry we don't serve food here"" replied the bartender."

"I wonder if mutes ever sign ""Now that's what I'm talking about!"""

"What do you call a spiderman that's good at sex? Peter Parker"

"What's the definition of a cannibal? Some who goes into a restaurant and orders a waiter!"