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Joke of the Day

"Just had a 10 minute argument about the importance wearing pants in public with a 5yo She won, today I wear pants when I take her to school"

"Why can't Mexico beat the US in the Olympics? Because all their runners, jumpers and swimmers are already here."

"Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common? A: They're both empty from the neck up."

"Did anyone else hear about the nasty crash involving a mustang and a t-bird? There was horse shit and feathers everywhere!"

"BIack friend asked me if there was a colored printer in the library I said its 2014 man you can use what ever printer you want."

"What's black, blue and doesn't look too well? Stevie Wonder"

"two year old comes up to me asking if I've seen a dummy, unaware that she's just set herself up for the most brutal slam of her little life."

"Today's word is Legs. Spread the word."

"I was writing a paper on my grandfather... But had to stop because he was moving so much."

"911 Worker > 911,What's your emergency? Man > My wife is going to give birth! Worker > Is this her first born? Man > No,it's her husband *Ba Dum Tss*"