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Joke of the Day

"What do successful businessmen and aids patients have in common They both take risks and get positive results"

"Fastest Bolt at the Olympics? Was it Usain Bolt or Ryan Lochte's ride to the airport?"

"(NSFW) What did the haddock get covered in at the fish orgy? SALMONal fluid"

"When cats are sad... Bartender: ""What can I get you?"" Cat: ""Shot of tequilla."" *Bartender pours it.* *Cat slowly pushes it off the bar.* Cat: ""I'll have another."""

"China has recently banned puns. In hindsight it might be a punenforcable law."

"A blonde is walking down the street and sees a banana peel 10 ft in front of her She says to herself ""Oh no not again."""

"Look, lady, you can either be disappointed that I have an average penis, or excited that I have a GIGANTIC micropenis."

"My wife was cremated after her death. Also during."

"Don't take drugs... for granted."

"What do you do after having licked the world's smoothest vagina? Put it back in the stroller"