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Joke of the Day
"Don't take drugs... for granted."
Next Joke
"Neighbour:How's the wife? Me:Glowing Neighbour:Pregnant? Me:No, she's on fire, just going for more wood Neighbour:You're sick Me:You're next"
"Why is ""Z"" afraid of all of the other letters? Because they're Not-Z's (*Nazis*)"
"""Our teacher has a bad memory. For three days she asked us how much is two and two. We told her it was four. But she still doesn't know. Today she asked us again!"""
"Q: What is the difference between a violin and a viola? A: A viola burns longer."
"The Beatles were so full of shit. They only used that yellow submarine residence for tax purposes."
"I'm sick and tired of people telling me to turn off my lights to save the environment. I tried it once and I hit a cyclist.."
"What do David Carradine and the Mets have in common? They both choke when it really matters."
"I accidentally sent my essay to the 3D printer... it came out as a piece of shit"
"What's the difference between a microwave and anal? A microwave doesn't brown your meat. Courtesy of Chuck Palahnuik at his reading for 'Beautiful You' in Phoenix last night."