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Joke of the Day

"Why did the sun go to school? To get brighter!"

"Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There's no menu: You get what you deserve"

"My girlfriend told me that my dick is two inches bigger than her ex's. And that is why she will never go back into a lesbian relationship."

"A large account followed me to thank me for a trophy through DM, then immediately unfollowed me. It must be exhausting to be Twitter elite."

"Why do scuba divers falls backwards off of the boat? Because if they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."

"Why don't women like drinking beer at the beach? Because they'll get sand in their schlitz."

"To all the fisherman out there... You da reel MVP"

"Dear Diary: Day 1 of being a gang member. Wore a bandana today, but took it off after a woman shouted ""you go girl!"" from across the street."

"I showed my iPad to my iPod, and he was all ""what's up fatty""."

"Are you looking for work spreading the word of Jesus? Because I can offer you the missionary position."