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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend told me that my dick is two inches bigger than her ex's. And that is why she will never go back into a lesbian relationship."

"I would be a bad fish. Fishermen would be like, ""omg i'm so ugly"" and I'd take the bait and disagree, instead of swimming away."

"A priest, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar... ..and the barman says, ""What is this, some kinda joke?"""

"An orchestra concert is no place for a child. Sometimes there's intense violins"

"I hate whales I was out at sea and a whale almost destroyed my ship, a crewmember said that whale collisions where common in that area. But I'm positive that whale hit my ship on porpus."

"Tuna comments What do tuna fish say pussy tastes like?"

"Anyway, the moral of the Chilean story is we now put a limit on the hider in the game of hide n' seek"

"Why did the cz-75 get the girl pregnant? It took too long to pull out."

"Marmite ... But paw may not."

"If I ever wake up miniature I'm going to use a ravioli as a pillow and just go back to bed."