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Joke of the Day

"Doctor! I think I'm a teepee and a wigwam! Here is a prescription for antipsychotics."

"I think I want a job cleaning mirrors... ...it's just something I can see myself doing."

"What's dark, and usually involved in crime? A balaclava."

"Captain: You're suspended. Turn in ur badge and gun. [he does, but immediately grows a new badge and gun] Godammit, u were born to be a cop."

"Biology Joke If I ever meet the cell cycle, I'm going to punch him in the phase."

"Two atoms in a pub Two atoms meet in the pub. One says, 'I think I've lost an electron.' The second atom with a strong British accent asks, 'Are you sure?' The first one replies, ' yes I'm positive.'"

"*yawning at an art museum* ""I already saw that on Tumblr."""

"As a man in his 70s I still manage to have sex with my wife almost every day... Almost Monday, almost Tuesday...."

"Where does letters to Santa go. (Dark Humor) In the trash, he's not real."

"Pirate walks in a bar with his ship's steering wheel stuffed in his pants. The bartender asks do you know that's in your pants? Arrr yes. It's drivin me nuts!"