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Joke of the Day
"*yawning at an art museum* ""I already saw that on Tumblr."""
Next Joke
"A Butt walks in to a bar. . . The bartender asks, ""What'll ya have?"" and the Butt says ""Pfffbbtbtbt"" Then the bartender turns to his friend and says, ""What an ass."""
"What do you call a religious drug addict? A crystal methodist."
"I've just made a perfume from holy water... Eau my God"
"The number of STDs I can spell without autocorrect really bothers me."
"How is Trump vs. Clinton like Godzilla vs. Mothra? No matter who wins, the city will be destroyed."
"My 10 yr old daughter was saying how stressful life is but she did add ""well, at least I've managed to go 10 years without drinking"""
"Starting with the word ""why"" and always pressing the middle option, what joke is your predictive text trying to tell us all?"
"Sir this bag is too heavy, you'll have to pay an extra $25 to check it. Sure thing *dumps 2500 pennies from bag onto counter*"
"Cashier: haha that's a lotta candy, getting ready for Halloween early eh Me:... Cashier:... Me:... Cashier:... Me: yep"