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Joke of the Day

"Morpheus: If you take the red pill, I will show you what the Matrix is. Neo: *ingests pill* Whoa. Morpheus: It's also a powerful laxative."

Next Joke
 
"ALCOHOL: The nighttime laughing, slurring, blurring, shouting, pounding head, confidence, so you can turnt shit up medicine."
"So I broke my mom's tailbone during childbirth. And I've been a pain in her ass ever since."
"Waiter this coffee tastes like dirt! Yes sir thats because it was only ground this morning."
"How cats and dogs think Dog: These people feed me, pet me, love me, they must be God. Cat: These people feed me, pet me, love me, I must be a God."
"What do you call it when Usain Bolt is standing next to your mom? A runner in scoring position."
"I got rear-ended in traffic the other day Thank God i wasn't in my car."
"bad scary film I was watching a really poorly done scary movie last night, it was horrorble."
"Yo mama so fat.. I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing."
"What do you call a Jamaican proctologist? Dr. Pokemon."