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Joke of the Day

"bad scary film I was watching a really poorly done scary movie last night, it was horrorble."

"3 years ago someone was laying concrete so I put my hand prints in it. Been here ever since."

"At best, I think I could be a Third Responder."

"""I need to find somewhere to park,"" I told my wife. ""What about over there?"" she said. ""I can't,"" I replied, ""It says between 1 and 9 only."" ""Well, why is that stopping you?"" ""I'm 23."""

"When they buried the man who invented Tetris ...the whole cemetery disappeared."

"Today I had a three way with two women It was quite the conference call."

"I'm getting my wife's name tattooed on my penis So I can keep beating her long after she's gone (I'm so sorry)"

"How did you feel when you found out Obama was half white and half black? Because I had mixed feelings."

"Have you got any broken biscuits? Yes I have. Well you shouldn't be so clumsy!"

"I asked a new zealander how many sexual partners he has had. He fell asleep counting."