77405
Joke of the Day
"I got rear-ended in traffic the other day Thank God i wasn't in my car."
Next Joke
"How to get a girl to like you: 1. Become a lion tamer 2. Release a lion on her 3. Tame it right before it kills her 4. Take her to Chili's?"
"zombies break out in nyc we aint noticing for 4 days because the motto is ""MIND YA BUSINESS"""
"First monster: I have a hunch. Second monster: I thought you were a funny shape."
"I'd eat more Mexican food if it didn't look like someone had already eaten it before me."
"How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers"
"Whoa. I just did something & almost forgot to document it on the Internet. That was a close one."
"What do you do when you see a space man? You park, man."
"Two introverts go to a bar. They leave immediately."
"[ordering pizza alone] Yeah I'd like a large pepperoni and *changes voice* A medium sausage *changes voice again* Another large pepperoni"