39586

Joke of the Day

"How many friend zoned guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they will all just stand there complimenting it and get pissed when it wont screw."

Next Joke
 
"Me: A watched pot never boils. Wife: ... Me: ... Wife: ... Me: ... Wife: ... Me: ... Wife: Try turning on the stove, idiot."
"How do you get 100 babies into a bowl? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips"
"Apparently it's okay for the office to have ""casual Friday's,"" but ""nudist Tuesday's"" are frowned upon. How embarrassing for me."
"Concert Problems... Kroeger: They tell me, no one knows you guys. Bono: U2."
"I pooped in 8 stores today. New record. 2 of them had restrooms."
"What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you? Your calves!"
"I need to buy a 4k TV, no matter what. It's my new year resolution."
"It's so hot outside! I've been out here 10 minutes and I'm already wetter then Kim Kardashian at the BET Awards."
"This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting."