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Joke of the Day
"What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you? Your calves!"
Next Joke
"Inkling sounds like a baby octopus"
"I'm not poor. I'm big-loaned."
"I am so drunk, i'm going to regreddit tomorrow! regReddit GET IT? wow, this is as dry as california."
"What device did Jared Fogle use to keep track of his exercise progresswhen he lost over 200 pounds on the Subway diet? A pedometer"
"Commitment doesn't mean sticking to one person forever, it means keeping a relationship with someone even though you have lots of options."
"What do you call a far-ranging debate? A mass-debate."
"I'd catch a gently thrown tennis ball for you."
"Him: What's your fantasy, baby Me: Me, you and my cat wearing matching sweatersWHERE ARE YOU GOING I HAVEN'T EVEN TOLD YOU ABOUT THE NACHOS"
"At my high school reunion while everyone was bragging I said,""I'm finally allowed in public without an armed chaperone."""