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Joke of the Day

"My kid threatened to hold her breath until I gave her dessert. She's now passed out on the kitchen floor. I don't negotiate with terrorists."

"Why can't a blonde dial 911 ? She can't find the eleven."

"If you have rectal cancer and it's treated with radiation therapy... Is that a Rem job?"

"How do we know Jesus wasn't a virgin? Because he got nailed three times."

"Man creates taser for sheep What happens next will SHOCK ewe!"

"1984 is a great work of literature. I think all kids should be forced to read it."

"more like Clifford the Big Red Reason we are Homeless"

"Kids born after 2012 will have a hard time believing there were actually movies without Kevin Hart in them."

"Do you think Professor that my wife should take up the piano as a career? No I think she should put down the lid as a favor."

"Why did the blonde librarian sleep with a famous musician? She wanted a first edition of Moby's Dick."