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Joke of the Day

"Kids born after 2012 will have a hard time believing there were actually movies without Kevin Hart in them."

"The biggest problem with my business selling pens and pencils..... Having stationery stock"

"What's the difference between a paycheck and a penis? You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck"

"Sweet dreams are made of cheese. Who am I to diss a brie. I cheddar the world and the feta cheese."

"Was shopping for a toilet. Sales guy showed me the newest model they had in store. It uploads all my shit to Facebook."

"A retarded kid, chemo patient, and midget walk into a candy store... [And walk out with jawbreakers bigger than their heads!](http://imgur.com/HwGG6mm)"

"I've been addicted to eating the Thanksgiving leftovers... ...so I decided to quit cold turkey."

"I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging Ever since then, my muggings have been a lot more successful!"

"On the Hot Wheels isle helping a friend pick out a sweet Corvette that she promised her 18yo for graduation. Life's all about the wording."

"My dog likes to sit down each evening and surf the Net. What an intelligent animal! Not really it took the cat three weeks to teach him."