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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a dirty Jew? Alive."

"A cabbage walks into a bar wearing a red leaf. The bartender takes one look at it and asks another patron how they feel about the cabbages bold new look. The patron replies, ""I think it's ridic yo."""

"what did the trilby wearing neckbeard atheist find in t he synagogue during channukkah m'nora"

"What's it like having sex with a wave? Fucking hertz."

"I saw a group of kids trying to put another kid into a dumpster. I had to step in, they couldn't even lift him. We high-fived & laughed."

"I have a confession about my time at the movies recently... Okay, fine. I'll admit it: I'm bad. I take women to The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug and I never Gollum back."

"Light a fire for a man and he'll be warm for the evening. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

"My GF and I would kick ass at the newlywed game. I know 100% of her answers to questions is "" I don't know""."

"How old do I look? 9yo: 30 Aww, you deserve ice crea- 9yo: Just like grandma -m but too bad you're not getting any"

"I'm new here I have never posted here before. I will share a joke. What is brown and sticky? A stick."