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Joke of the Day

"Light a fire for a man and he'll be warm for the evening. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

"A single sperm has 37.5MB of DNA information in it. That means a normal ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1,587.5TB."

"to do list I made a huge TO DO list for this weekend. I just can't figure out who's going to do it"

"What's the worst thing about a September harvest? Finding a plane in your field."

"Me: I ate all the chips. Wife: What!? For the boys' lunches!? Well, at least we still have cheeze its. Me: You're not going to believe this"

"I just read an article about the damage cigarettes can do to young children. The first thought that occurred to me was ""What the fuck happened to using ashtrays?!"""

"Lois Lane would probably be terrible at picking out the right suspect in a Police lineup."

"Prove that lightning isn't wizards fighting. You can't."

"If I was a drunk superhero, I'm pretty sure I'd be ""I Love You Man"""

"Did you hear about the house built by lesbians? There's no studs, just tongue and groove."