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Joke of the Day

"I have a confession about my time at the movies recently... Okay, fine. I'll admit it: I'm bad. I take women to The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug and I never Gollum back."

"Why are there no walmarts in Pakistan? Because there's a target on every corner"

"I just finished watching the Curt Cobain documentary... It ended with a bang."

"woops i wrote a joke with no punchline a joke with no punchline"

"Why don't chicken wear underwear? Because their pecker is on their face."

"just got mad and flipped a table but it spun all the way around in landed right side up. everyone in Applebee's is clapping"

"*watching The Revenant* *rewind* *play* *rewind* *play* *rewind* *play* Him: What are you doing? Me: Taking notes for when I fight a bear."

"Why did the meme crossed the road A meme beme screme"

"Why did I throw my phone out of my window? Because I turned on airplane mode, and thought it would turn my Iphone into a plane..."

"Don't cry over spilled milk. And broken eggs. And a violated ham. And-FINE, I'LL LEAVE. This isn't the only grocery store in town, you know."